After my son died in 2008 I started one of the most important journeys of my life. I was devastated and I knew right away that I wanted to try to find him if I could.
In 1979, a few days after my father died, the night before his funeral, he came to me in a dream: It was unmistakably him. He told me he was okay and that I was not to worry; I asked him if his parents, who had been dead for many years, were happy to see him and he said, "Oh yes! They were." His main message, the reason he had come to see me, was to let me know he was fine and I was not to worry. I didn't know it at the time but I was pregnant with Brandon, and later I thought maybe he was worried that my grief might have a negative impact on my pregnancy. And many years after that, after Brandon died, I thought of how amazing it was that my dad was fifty-one when he died and I was fifty-one when I lost Brandon. At the end of the dream dad said he had to go, then walked down a hallway and disappeared through a door into the brightest light I've ever seen. It was the most vivid dream I've ever had, either before then or after then, and it brought me lasting relief and lasting peace around my father's death. I knew as soon as I had that dream there is more to life and death than we usually think, that the afterlife is real and everyone ends up there eventually.
I kept thinking of that dream after Brandon died. I searched for someone who would help me find him, and after about a year I found that person in Jamie Butler, a clairvoyant and clairaudient medium who lives in Atlanta. The conversations I had with Brandon, as well as the story of his passing and my search for him afterwards, grew into my book, Beautiful Gift: How I Found My Son In The Afterlife. One of the many things I learned along the way is that death doesn't have to be about saying goodbye to your loved one; it can be about learning how to say hello, coming to truly believe that your loved ones who have passed are still with you and are even part of the family.
Any child is a beautiful gift that we are given in our lives, but sometimes things beyond our control happen and we have to give that beautiful gift back. But it doesn't end there. I'm so grateful to have found my son and to have the opportunity to communicate with him even though he lives on the other side now. I know that he continues to be a part of our family, just in a different way. His personality remains the same as it was when he was here and his humor remains unchanged. He makes me laugh and cry all at the same time and takes me to places that we as humans can only imagine. These days I know Brandon is here even though I can't see him. I feel his presence every day, and I know he is by my side every step of the way in this most important journey of my life. I invite you to join me in this story of my awakening and my continuing relationship with Brandon.